Do you REALLY want to know what goes on in my head? Everywhere I turn, someone I know is finding out they are pregnant. WHY does this have to be so hard? I WANT to be happy for those couples that are blessed with a healthy pregnancy but I just can't right now. If this wasn't normal, I would feel bad about it...but I don't. I think I have a right to be angry and hurt and ask questions like "why me?" I refuse to believe that it was "God's plan" for us to lose a baby. I just don't buy it.
My sister April is pregnant and we were due 2 weeks apart. For her situation, I am completely peaceful and happy for her. They have been trying for years to get pregnant and have finally been blessed with a precious baby due in March. I thought I would be ok if I was in the room when she called my parents to tell them "the news." Nobody knows that I left the room to cry.
I didn't write this blog for anyone to feel sorry for me. That is the last thing I want. I just wanted to be real, for once. I am not ok with what happened. I don't think I will be ok until we get pregnant again and deliver a healthy baby. So for all of you that asked me how I was and I said "ok" or "fine," I lied. I am not "ok" and don't expect to be anytime soon, so bare with me.
About Me
- Melody Forest McKee
- I graduated from ACU in '04. Michael, and I got married December 23, 2006. Our first baby girl, Harper, was born October 28, 2009. Michael graduated from TTU in August '10.
4 comments:
Well, the good news is that I'm not pregnant and won't be anytime soon. But you're right. It wasn't God's will for you to lose a baby. Death is never God's will. God is good, and he doesn't cause bad things to happen. Sometimes bad things do happen, and he doesn't stop them from happening. I don't quite understand that one myself, but I suppose from everything we experience- good or bad- we learn and we grow. You'll have babies someday. It may not be as soon as you like, but it will happen.
I know it is terribly sad. But remember at least you were able to get pregnant, and that is definitely a start. Keep your chin up, it will happen
I know. It sucks. I'm still angry about our miscarriages. Having Charlie makes it better but He doesn't replace who we lost. It's a horrible feeling but it will get better with time. Just know that there are so many of us that understand and don't expect you to be fine or ok about it. It's natural to feel the way that you do and you shouldn't feel guilty. It's part of grieving and you have a lost baby to grieve about.
Sweet Melody! I am so glad that you found my blog because I am so happy to read updates about you. I am definitely going to have to go back and read your prior posts, but I wanted to post on this one. I am so sorry for your miscarriage. I too had one between Ella and Hayden and it was very difficult. There is nothing that anyone can say to make you feel better because every situation is different, but I want you to know that you are in my prayers. I wish I could be there with you to hug you and cry with you. Sometimes that is the best thing, good ole' tears! You know I love them!! You are precious and know that your Big Gata Sis loves ya!!
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